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Returning...
Returning from Union/Wondering about Life (Mouse Over)

Dear Kim,

Surely on this New Year's Day, as you sit or draw or walk or talk or whatever it is you are doing in California, and I sit in St. Louis, writing to you and trying to negotiate my way out of yet another sinus infection before I go to see my friends Jane and Kate, surely, we should talk about wedding clothes. The clothes that were worn at the wedding of your son and new daughter-in-law yesterday

Your wife has written that the children at the wedding wore dark rose colored
dresses with skirts that looked like rose petals, or dresses with rose patterns in keeping with the restaurant.

Does she mean the Rose Cafe? (Kim: That's the place. We had it rented for the evening with a wonderful staff making it all wonderful.)

If so, I know it well. It is a well known and beloved Venice Beach institution. What a great idea.

But what of the bride?

What did she wear?

(Kim: She work a simple while silk dress that she and Linda made. Linda flew to Philadelphia to work with her on it.)

Do you know how she arrived at her outfit? I mean, chose what it would be.

Where did she get it?

What color was it?

Did she choose pretty standard issue—give or take a lace here or a button there—to enjoy the pleasures and security of a long traditional of bridal wear?

(Kim: No.)

Did she stake out her own claim?

(Kim: This was her own design. Exactly what she wanted to be wearing.)

And why am i am not asking what the groom wore?

Maybe because people always say, "It's the bride's day."

But why do they say that? How can that be?

It takes two to tango. Or at least, to betrothe.

So what was the groom wearing?

(Kim: Josh wore a black suit that he had bought for fancy occasions at Penn. He had gotten tired being underdressed.)

And the parents, both sets?

(Kim: I wore a black suite that belonged to my dad. It was neat that he could be at the wedding in some way. Linda made a beautiful navy dupioni silk suit with a long skirt. The jacket had a single antique button. Underneath she had a cafe au lait color blouse with a gingo design. Roni (Sarah's mom) wore a black knee-length sleeveless dress with a sheer long sleeve wrap. )

Because it seems that weddings are public occasions, a chance to make a statement before a community about one's intentions, and in some sense, to ask for their support.

(Kim: You are talking about what people are wearing at a wedding and I'm wondering how we ever got on earth. I was at the airport waiting for my plane and wondering how (since I don't believe in G_D) this is all possible. I think it started with Linda and I being able to read the departure TVs from so far away and how impressed I was by the quality of our (humanoid) eyesight. But then I started thinking about simple forms of life and how we could have evolved from those forms, both physically and intellectually.

Then this morning I felt angry about how much killing we've done to each other, and how hard it is for us to get along.

How is it that some of us do get married, and have such a desire to create new human beings? What is that all about?

I sit here totally confused about the human being—how we got here and why?)

So, although getting married is essentially a contract between two people (and the state), a wedding is something altogether different.

Maybe that is why people make such a big deal about taking so many wedding photos and getting everyone in the photo.

If you can write me/draw me what some people were wearing at your son's wedding and why, I promise to tell you a great story about what i almost wore to my almost wedding and why.

(Kim: It is interesting how much I don't like suggestions about what I should draw. In my concept that the drawings are in my pen and I just have to let them out onto the paper...it doesn't work for me to decide to draw this or that. I read your writing and then the drawing jumps out. We'll see what happens when I get to this page.)

It is a great story, Kim, and well worth waiting.

Later,

Joan

Sunday, Jan 1, 2006

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