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7/23/06

Dear Kim:

My sister called tonight. She has been exploring dating through the Internet. It is a bizarre concept in some ways and yet, an obvious and burgeoning option.

Kim: I'm all for Internet dating, though it has its obvious dangers. I think we aren't very sensible about how we choose life partners. Though I think that high divorce rates have more to do with our inability to work with others than it does with our poor choice of mates.

Most of us live in such narrowly circumscribed worlds. It is difficult to figure out ways to really expand our circles. So I applaud Laurel's venturing forth. Even if it sometimes feels like trying to shoot fish in a barrel. And actually, my friend Sabina met her fiancee John through the Internet. So it can be done.

Laurel called to say that the guy with whom she was scheduled to have coffee had stood her up. He had emailed her to confirm. They had had some nice email exchanges earlier in the week.

This is not the first time that one of the guys from Craigslist or Salon. com has done this.

I don't understand. Why would someone do that?

Kim: Sometimes the guys came and didn't like what they saw. And sometimes the guys see it as a notch on their gun if they found a willing female who was willing to meet them, even though they didn't want to go through with the date. We are sometimes a sad lot.

I suppose there are as many reasons as there are people for why someone initiates a date with a stranger they claim to want to meet and then doesn't show. But what about respect for the other person and for their time? Geez.

Although I tend to be as committed to truth to the extent that I can recognize it, I wish these guys would lie. Just say that something had come up. The something could be as simple as a change in their own intention or nerve.

That way, my sister would not put on eye shadow and her sassiest jeans and move bravely in pursuit of the love she wants to find.

She sounded tired when she called to report this news. Me, I feel sorrowful.

Kim: I'm curious about the range of possible reactions to the same stimuli. Tired, sorrowful, analytical, or even, G_D is looking out for me. In each case the reaction has so much to do with the reacter, and what the reacter has learned about his/her world.

Later,

Joan

Monday, May 22, 2006

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