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R

Dear Kim:

One of the things I find most strange about traveling is beginning the day in one place and with one activity, and ending in another. I don't know that as human beings we are wired for that immediate kind of adaptability.

What do you think?

(Kim: I'm thinking more about how we could go on from day to day if there was not sleep at the end of the next day to get ready for another one. School days seem so filled with angst. It is almost from your place to place when I go from home (with my fish searching for that little insect to relish and my dogs trying to get every rabbit in the yard) and then to school where As the World Turns for so many.)

After a wonderful lazy, hazy Memorial Day that consisted of hours of barbecue and conversation with friends—, the kind of luxuriating in time and space and sensation that usually only occurs on a holiday—I awoke early in serious work mode.

The afternoon included my first full rehearsal with the whole cast for our new piece for the feds, Ten Percent.

Then Sarah raced me to the airport where, as is the case with increasing frequency, my flight was delayed by hours and we sat on the tarmac.

I am spending the night at my friend Jan's apartment in Chicago.

I am so tired, I dropped my computer and knocked into the furniture. Ironically, I am also so tired that I can't sleep.

What do you think that is about?

(Kim: Kids get that way...they are so excited and so tired that until they really run themselves ragged they won't go to sleep. Is that what it feels like?)

I mean, how is it possible to be too tired to sleep? That frequently happens to me.

I wonder if sleep is like the brass ring on a circus carousel. If you don't grab it, it doesn't come around in reach very often or very easily.

I have found a book of erotica in Jan's study called, Aroused. It is edited by performance artist Karen Finely. I am wondering what makes it erotica instead of pornography. Is it that it consists of writings by artists who publish in different type faces and with small and lesser known publishing houses?

(Kim: Face it, a feminist couldn't do something this is called pornography. Pornography is dirty, and for the feminist who validates a woman being a sexual being, sex cannot be bad.)

I am not aroused by what I am reading.

(Kim: I don't think a post-modernist can do eroticism, because they are living outside of desire looking onto the lives of the lowly. In a sense, feminism and post-modernism are sisters, aren't they?)

Am I any kind of measure?

And if I am not, what should this genre be called?

Later,

Joan

Tuesday, May 30
, 2006