Your drawing today is so encouraging: The depiction of two people in
a flow of dialogue between them, connecting their truths. After all,
how can any communication of real substance take place if people don't
speak their truth? The truth as they know it. And maybe,
just in the act of speaking their truth, even if they have differences
of opinion, they connect.
But there is sadness on my end and a temporary roadblock of sorts.
Two parts of my story: my sister and Pseudonym both object to being
written about unless they see what I write. And maybe then they will
And I don't want to write, at least about some things, with that
weight of censorship sitting on my shoulder. It is challenging enough
to deal with my own issues of self censorship. I censor myself plenty
and I am trying to do it less and less.
Laurel and I had an abbreviated and interesting conversation about
this and her illness yesterday as I was driving. Yes, I know. cell
phone driving. A definite no.
She said, But what is happening is happening to me. It is my experience
and it is private. And I said, True in some ways but it is also
happening to me. It is my experience of your experience. I am also very
much in this picture.
She was unconvinced.
So, I am going to need to figure out some of this.
We can use the website for us to work personally right now as it is much
easier than your scanning or faxing the drawings.We are going to have
to wait on the website launch until we can talk this through some more
I am also thinking that the experiment which we initially conceived `is
already morphing and from my perspective, that is OK.
For you to make a drawing and me to respond in some way is in some
ways to analyze your drawing but it doesn't really constitute a dialogue.
seems more like a dialogue when you draw, I respond and then you
also sometimes write back, too.
Let's talk about privacy. I have raised this question before and
would like us to talk some more about it. How do you feel about discussing
things that other people think might be private? I think it poses
very different issues and risks in a drawing than in a written narrative. But
I would like to hear more back from you on this.
I was in the GI area at a local hospital, in cubicle 12, waiting
for my procedure. I
there for 1/2 hour or more. During that time I heard the complete
medical histories of the woman across from me and next to me. There
was no information that was private, including a discussion about
whether or not she could wear her bra for a . . . I learned
how much the women weighed, and the dates and other details of
their complete medical history. I even learned the brand of pacemaker
one woman had, and how just one part of it was working. And my
hearing is not that good.)
am not sure I have had this problem before. Because although
I have often written about events or experiences from my personal
they have more typically been in the guise of characters
a play or a piece of fiction or a song lyric. So that has had the
protective device of being at least one step removed.
I am feeling confused and frustrated about this situation. I want
to write in a different way right now in this project with you.
and personally. I don't know what to do.
Have to go to a meeting now that I don't want to attend.
November 17, 2005