will tell you who I thought the people are for yesterday's drawing.
The hetro couple was actually you and Tom holding hands (I was
touched by that). The bed was your dream (about waking up in a
The leaning heads were you and the woman you met at the theatre.
And the couple at the table—I made that up as the play you were
Wow. That is amazing.
And of course makes every bit as much sense as my interpretation.
Ain't art swell?
Thank you for your couples drawing. It made me what? Sad? Discouraged?
Annoyed? Am not sure what, that the only happy couple was heterosexual.
They were the couple that was talking at the table and they
were the ones that faced us boldly, walking hand and hand into
But I prefer not to read this symbolically, or I will have to
write you off as a homophobe and I would never want to do that.
I suspect every non-gay male is a homophobe...but that's
I am reading it as a response to what I have been writing.You
and Linda ARE a happy couple. From
everything you tell me, you do talk at the table and do face
the future body.
What is the future body? More importantly, I have
a lot of trouble with the idea of "happy couple." First
and foremost, people have to be happy with themselves and with
they love each other, "so much the better" (as
D. H. Lawrence once wrote.))
that is a truth. Not relative. I think it seems
And C and I are a lesbian couple that are struggling terribly.
Why do you use the term "lesbian" when I don't say L and I are
a "straight" couple."
don't know that that is due to the fact that it is a lesbian coupling,
It is also because we are both very strong willed
and idiosyncratic people. But our lesbian position does add to
the stresses. We don't get the same support and encouragement for
relationship from our families and the wider world. We can't
Would you want to? I get the feeling you are more lovers than friends.)
inhabit different roles than most heterosexual men and women do.
And in that sense, we are pioneers and have
to make it up as we go. Which is exciting in a way.
But boy, have you been
listening closely. It
is brilliant that you
depicted two women—I assume C and me but maybe not—lying
in bed, which is a space
for sleeping, talking,
making love, a space
of real intimacy. And
one is covering the other's
For me, it is touching the other's mouth, which has to do with
the continuum of silencing to get out of the world of words that
we so often hide behind.)
that she cannot speak her truth, whatever that truth may be. The
need for more space. More conversation or perhaps less. Maybe
the truth of other desires.
The other part of the drawing that I really like is that you have
two people emerging from the earth, with long long necks. Almost
prehistoric. Like dinosaurs. They are not gendered, like your
other people. I don't know if that is deliberate or not.
took it as a beacon of hope and I took it personally. It may
well not have been intended that way. As a response to my personal
situation. But what I got from it was the idea
rising and continuing and since there was no clear body language,
perhaps there was not yet any agenda.
Guess I need to take another drawing class. They were leaning
each other as you did with that woman you met in the
way to read it might be say that an essential couple
has nothing to do with gender or sexual or relational preference.
So why show the body? And since so many of our problems and solutions
have to do with how we think about something, why
not just show the head?
I am very curious to know what you think of my response to what
you have drawn. And fascinatingly, your intent and interpretation
is something we have never talked about before. At least, not with
Often my interpretation is not as the artist but as a third
party. Though in this case it was premeditated (against my rules).
know that you like to work at a certain level of subconsciousness.
So I certainly don't want to mess with your process. But I am
you read what I have
written, and you make
a drawing, do you
read it for meaning
say to yourself, aha,
so that's what I think
Yes, I figure out how I feel about things from my art. It is
the best means I have to look inside.)
Years ago, when I was diagnosed with breast cancer and you asked
what you could do it help, I asked you to make a painting for me,
to encourage me. You made this gorgeous painting of one of
your characters, scaling a giant breast. Because for that character,
that was her Everest.
I love that painting. It has lived all over my apt. And
currently resides in the living room, next to Barnacle the fish.
Some might say that the struggle with someone, with anyone, with
C, is the gift. But it is a hard time and place right now.
We have been struggling for some time.The holidays are
coming up, Which are important for her although not to me. There
is much in my life that I cannot change. I canto change the
fact that my sister is sick and my parents frail and elderly.
I get the idea that you have always struggled in relationships—that
that is your expectation.)
work at the things that I can change and try to accept
with some grace the things that I can't. And you are a gift
my life to sometimes accurately point out the places that I can
reframe my thinking. Although I don't always agree with you.
And I really do not like this use of the word victim, that you
seem to fling out so readily.
This is a long winded way of saying I wish you would think about
what it might mean to make a drawing of encouragement about two
women who are trying to make their way in the world.
That's the drawing above. I have no idea if Pseudonym is Jewish,
but I had a reason for crossing Christians and Jews.)
Monday, Dec 5, 2005