It is totally fine that you want to make your own completely independent
choices about what to draw, even though I have my own desire to
see certain things.
I can ask and you can say no. But I also get that it is getting
your nerves to be asked, so I will try hard not to ask again.
What I love best about what you have written is the fact that you
wore your father's suit and so he was represented there
in some way.
Dad wanted me to wear his clothes when he died. He mentioned
that a number of times. I love doing that.)
bride often does that.
You know, thefamiliar: "Something old, something
blue, something borrowed, something blue."
But again, that is more bride stuff.
It is as if sentiment has been purely relegated to the female
realm.And that is part of the problem in the world.
What about the groom? Or, in your case, the groom's
How do they/you shake hands with tradition?
I grew up believing that tradition was something to ignore. My
mom wouldn't let me go to church because she said I was too impressionable.
I ended up going to four churches one Sunday.
time I read this I thought you were talking about does the groom's
father hug the bride's father...hence, part of the drawing. And
then their is the chair dance, which we all did.
all a performance. One that neither Linda nor I would have ever
chosen for our justice of the peace wedding, but one that was
fun anyhow. Our kids were put on earth to socialize us.)
mean, besides the usually over the top ritual of the party that
the best man usually hosts that often
involves drinking too much and semi nude women.
I drink so little. I'm always afraid I'll miss out the opportunity
to make pictures if I drink.)
did you feel wearing your dad's clothes?
Did you tell anyone?
I might have mentioned it in the toast...I was proud to wear
his suit, even though he is mad at me because he didn't want
me to be dean (I'm sure that was good advice).)
happens to the suit now?
I'll wear it again...the next time I need to be wearing a black
suit. Unless, that is, I loose or gain a lot of weight.)
do you think you might wear it next?
Monday, Jan 2, 2006
Relating to 123105.shtml.
It is about you and Pseudonym. What stood out in your text
were 1) that you chose the party over an intimate dinner and
wanted me to draw clothes where the overwhelming issue was
superficial vs. authentic relationships.)
interesting. I may have been confused by your drawing because
of its proximity to my writing and the fact that with the holidays,
we are a bit out of sync with each other and our usual schedule
for posting and receiving
I did choose a party over an intimate dinner. And the reason for that
was that I did not want to be intimate. I did not think
I could be intimate. And it would also send misleading
messages to Pseudonym. I
love Pseudonym but not in the same way that she loves me. And
it gets clearer by the day that I don't want to go the distance
with her as a life partner. I want to be her lifelong friend.
So, candlelight, wine, soft music, a bed that beckons in the other
room? Not a good idea. Because ultimately, not honest and
I wanted you to draw clothes because I thought we agreed to try to
stay on the topic of clothes for a while. That the more we
stay on one topic, as a lens, regardless of certain other issues, the
fruitful the drawings and conversation can be.
Are you tired of using this particular lens? I still have lots
more I can say on the subject. Please let me know if you want/need
to shift gears.
(Kim: I've never drawn
clothes before...now I've added clothes to all my figures...even
though the clothes are transparent.
a fantasy of being an illustrator, but I really don't want to
do that. Someone
asked me the other day to illustrate something,
and I had no interest in doing that. The drawings have to be about
me in some way, even if it is simply my impression. The problem
comes when you write something and I see blue, and then you ask
me to write about the red. That's why I don't like to be asked
to draw something. I much perfer that you present the experience
and then I respond.)
thought the way i talked about clothes was not superficial.
In a way, it was a chronicle of the various aspects of
my life. As I reflect upon it now, they all seemed to
refer in some way to health: my
own or someone else's or to self definitions
of femininity, and perhaps aging.
There was certainly nothing wrong with the way you thought about
clothes. I was surprised
how much emotion came forth for both you and me.)
be an aging woman, is a different experience in many ways
other than the obvious, than
to be an aging man.
Monday January 2, 2006