She went to Costco for Ensure (Mouse Over)

Dear Kim,

My sister called to say she has found a broker to put my parents' apartment on the market in Chicago in preparation for the move to New York.

(Kim: Why do I feel that it is so wrong for your parents to move to N.Y.? Is this the playing out of a battle between your brother and your sister? It is so stressful to move. When the family moved one of my favorite teachers she turned around and died on them.)

She said she was really upset about doing this and didn't want my mother to know how she is feeling.

I told her she did the absolute right thing to call me. That we should not burden my mother with some of these feelings when she needs to be encouraged to make this move for the good of her health.

Her voice dropped to a whisper, "I don't know how I am going to live here without them, Joanie," she said. "I see or talk with them so often," she said. "I went by Costco today to pick up case of Ensure for Mom."

(Kim: My dad was on Ensure at the end. He even bought it at Costco!

Wouldn't that be something if we all drank bottled nutrition instead of the great assortment of foods that we eat. Imagine restaurants (I'm going to Duff's for lunch with Linda, Melissa, her boyfriend and his family) just serving Ensure.

Think too about how your parents are such a lifeline for your sister.)

"I know," I said. "You do thoughtful things like that all the time. I know how close you are."

"I guess I will have to go to New York a lot now," she said.

Laurel lived in New York for several years after college. She worked for the National Women's Children's Defense Fund. She did a lot of things in the city and had her fun there. But when she decided to leave the city, she was through with it. It is too dirty, too noisy, too hyper for her. Just too, too . . .

"Yes," I said. "And I will help you plan it. We'll see if we can figure it out so you can go in once a month or so for several days. I will try to come in when you are there to overlap for day or so and then will stay on."

"Yes," she said, "that would be good."

The part I didn't say was, of course, one day we will not even have the option of going to New York to see them. It seemed too big so I forestalled the inevitable.

Instead I said. "No matter what, Laurel. We will always have each other and I will always be there for you. Whether I have a partner or not."

Then I reconsidered and said, 'No, especially if I have a partner. You can always be with me under any circumstance. Look how lucky we are that we are not only children. My friend Sabina has no brothers or sisters. So she doesn't understand about some of these things."

She felt a little better and we hung up.

(Kim: I want to apologize being so far behind in my responses. I see now that it must be disconcerting to try to have a conversation with someone who is so slow in responding.)

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