|Taking a Nap w/an Old Friend
Where is my drawing?:)
Laurel and had had all sorts of plans for today . . . an early movie,
lunch with childhood friends.
She didn't sleep all night and I was up with her most of the night. She
woke up a little while ago with a bad nose bleed and temperature.
So we are in today and I am playing things by ear.
It is very cold here. 17 degrees with the wind whipping off the
lake. I think the news said that yesterday was one of the coldest
Thanksgivings on record.
I have all sorts of potential plans, visiting a photographer's studio,
maybe seeing a play, visiting Sabina. But Laurel is the
primary reason I am here so I want to tend to her. And I am rarely that
invested in any plan, besides plans to make art.
Most things are interesting to me, including being quiet and taking care
of someone who does not feel well.
It is a me thing and it is a Buddhist thing.
I asked her the last night why she felt so comforted when I was near
and she said I was in her DNA. She trusts me.
I hold those thoughts deep in my heart.
But hopefully by tomorrow, she will be fine since, as it is,
as she says, a long way away.
She is also adamant that she does not want me to write about her for
publication without reviewing it. And at dinner last night, our friend
Jan who is helping to produce "The Color Purple" on
Broadway and knows about such things, said I couldn't do it legally without
repercussion. That the other person has a right to control their
I understand and also feel somewhat stymied and puzzled by this
since anything that involves me is also my story, too.
If we were doing fiction, I could change the names. But that is
not what we are doing. And yet the story of Laurel's life is one
of the primary stories of my life right now. That and the story
There are other stories, to be sure. But to bypass family and love makes
writing some of my most immediate truths difficult.
As Freud said, Love and work.
I do not necessarily want to write about work.
We will figure this out. Laurel and me and you and me.
Please send me a drawing. What has happened to your early a.m.
Friday, Nov 25, 2005
Well, my day turned around. I was going to stay at home at take
care of Laurel all day but she said she planned to sleep and didn't need
me so she generously encouraged me to go out.
It was a Hyde Park U High kind of day. One of my mother's oldest friends,
Trudy, who now lives in Philadelphia and is staying at my parents while
they are in NY came by with her oldest son Dick Dworkin who was ahead
of my brother in school.
We went over to Jim Grodzin's house and and had lunch with him
and his wife Cathy and brother Josh who was visiting form Camden, Maine. Josh
may be my oldest friend, although I have not seen him in 20 years.
He is six months older than me and we used to take baths together as
kids. At lunch, he remembered the day my father brought my sister
home from the hospital. My father's gait, the way he held my sister,
the proud and tender expression on his face.
I began to cry. I was so touched and hungry to hear a description
of a memory like that.
The conversation hopscotched all over the place and although several
of us didn't know each other well in adult terms, it didn't matter. Any
and everything was interesting. Unlike last night which felt well
intentioned but labored.
My mother's friend Trudy who is in her 80's wanted to go see a play and
wanted me to join her. After being up with Laurel half the
night, I was lagging. So I said,"Well, if I could take
a nap, maybe I could make it."
Cathy (who I had never previously met)said, "Well, you
can take a nap here."
So I turned to Josh and said, "Ok, let's take a nap."
They offered me one of their many bedrooms and I said to Josh, "No,
let's just curl up here on the couch in front of the fire where we already
So we did.
And I didn't realize it at the time but it was like an enactment
of nap time from 45 years ago.
Can you imagine?
It felt safe and cozy and innocent laying intertwined with the old old
friend, who has turned out to be gay, well we all knew he was gay from
Can you make a drawing of two old friends, a man and a woman,
taking a nonsexual nap together?
Ok, here is a question about memory.
Why do we remember the things that happened long ago so well? Logic
would suggest that we would remember the more recent things because they
happened more recently. But that does not seem to be where our
Saturday, Nov 26, 2005