Make a Plan—Watch G_D Laugh!	(Mouse Over)

Dear Kim,

I really like your new drawing on holding hands in public, especially because there is a sense of voyeurism with being watched from all coordinates, East, West, North and South.

I also noticed that your initial sketch was called, "Happily Holding Hands in Public". But in your finished piece, you called it "Holding Hands in Public."

That is a distinct difference. Are you aware of why you changed the title?

(Kim: I think the couple was initially happy but then became self-conscious and their happiness subsided. It was unconsciously related to my thoughts about Adam and Eve eating the apple—that it made them aware of their nakedness (sin).)

Was it a movement from the utopian to the reality? Was it even conscious? Please tell me more.

This morning, I am thinking about the somewhat ludicrous nature of plans. We make all sorts of plans to manage our time, rather than have it manage us. And then of course, the plans usually shift.

I think of myself as a jazz musician. I lay down a plan or a basic melody or rhythm. And then i get ready for the improvisation or someone to play a different tune.

We have a performance for the Girl Scouts on Saturday at Maryville. We have been trying to get on their calendar for three years. It is often slow going to understand and fit into the culture of an organization. So we are thrilled to be finally doing this.

There is nothing like performing for kids. On a good day, you can practically see light bulbs go off in their heads as they make the connection between performance, the lived experience of the people on stage and how they, as young audience members want to think and behave differently.

This possibility for transformation is largely what keeps me in the grueling business of scheduling and grant writing, and tech rehearsals. The idea that we can do something that has meaning in an insane world.That we can, trite as it may sound, really make a difference.

Now it is looking like all of the usual support structures to get us through this important inaugural performance with the scouts may be gone. Sarah, my assistant has her monthly meeting whit the CAT (Community Arts Training Institute). Ashley, our assistant director is having a medical procedure today that may put her out of the loop.

We have a lot of performers on a small stage and no one to direct the traffic because I had planned on narrating, not stage managing.

It will work out. Because it has to and because everything finds its own form. But the tune that I laid out initially will not be the one that I will be playing on Saturday. Too much has shifted unexpectedly since we started.

(Kim: I'm not much for plans, so I once decided I would give a slide show with the slides randomly arranged. It was a terrible experience and convinced me that even though there are an unlimited number of good ways to do something, there are still ways that are not good at all.)

Yet another sign of the importance of staying in the moment. And also of preparing fully for something and then being willing to throw away the plan.

Later,

Joan

Wed, Dec 7, 2005

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